well, hello

I guess the first thing that they tell you is "just write." Just like that. Like it's a breeze. Like no one ever heard of the delete key, and boy if they did, they wouldn't care. Life's just that groovy. Well, I suppose I overuse the delete key. Not in life, that's for sure. Man oh man, I got no secrets. But when it comes to writing...well, cue the birds chirping. I use the delete key so often I owe the world back some words. Which is kind of ironic given that my dream in life has always been to write. Well, I'm not going to waste time dreaming anymore. Don't get me wrong, dreams are amazing. They keep us alive, satiated, filled with drive, love, passion. But they also hold us back. We're so busy dreaming that we sometimes forget we're not living. I've been meaning to stop that--the not living thing--for a while now. But you have school--maybe you're studying to become a physicist, an ichthyologist, a midwife; or more consuming still, work--pulling crazy hours at a new law firm, taking night shifts at a diner, volunteering for a good cause; a family--to meet for five-hour-long italian dinners, to teach a thing or two, to roll your eyes at; "extra-curriculars"--a kickball team, a photography class that does not involve the iPhone, writing (wink wink, see what I did there?); and the five hundred other miscellaneous obligations we have every single day. I mean, think about it: we're superheroes, we people are. Think about everything going through our heads every day, every thought we juggle (and rather successfully, I might add, even though it can seem like we're fighting a losing battle), every promise we make. I mean, just think about your average, run-of-the-mill morning. A poem, if I may, to exemplify:

get upppppp!!!!!
make breakfast
don't forget lunch
make it healthy
add some fruit
reminds me, watch your weight
how many calories in rice krispies?
trade for an apple
did i forget to call becky?
will email becky to tell her i may have forgotten to call her
oops! forgot to email mom, as well
ugh, teeth are not channing-tatum white
buy whitening strips
floss too
where's that grocery list?
canteloupe!
ugh, learn how to spell...
then go to the grocery store
do not be grumpy when sunshiny happy miracle morning people say "well hello" a little too brightly
don't hate everyone
in fact, be nicer
more pleasant
live up to your potential
stand up straight
shit it's monday
wait...it's tuesday!!!!
(happy dance)
note to self: pick up dry cleaning this afternoon
no, no, no, have second cousin's dance recital this afternoon
call david and plead to pick up dry cleaning
scratch that, haven't talked to david in ages--
sigh
be more attentive
spend more time with friends
before they end up hating you
family too

Okay, maybe not the best poem, but you get the drift. That's rather normal, is it not? We're always trying not to forget to remember to do something. But what we're never thinking is: what do I want to do today? Let's fulfill some dreams. No. I mean, that kind of sounds a little stupid, but that's basically what we lack. Fulfillment. So, I guess this is my fulfillment. It's just a little dawdling. But, you can't wait forever to fulfill your dreams. They're wonderful to have, but I don't want the same dreams forever. I want to change them out because I've worn them out--either because I've tried and figured out that I didn't really want what I thought I wanted or because I succeeded and now I can move on. Get new dreams. Bigger ones. Better ones. Because, what if we just hold on to the same dream forever? We hear singers like Eli Young bluesing about "keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart" but how many of us can say that we ever even tried to have our hearts broken? I wonder: did we all grow up to want to be doctors and lawyers and accountants and maids and waitresses and shoe salesmen and do nothing else but work all day, every day until we're too old to do anything else? I doubt it. I'm not knocking those of us who want that kind of life. I'm just trying to rattle things up: get you thinking. Did you really want what you have now? Or did you settle? What did you love growing up? Do you still have that? Do you try every day? Do you "dream" every day? Do you laugh every day? Again, these questions aren't for everyone. This, I know. But...it is a truth universally acknowledged that some silly little girl has to try to stir up the pot.